Things you've said on frequency meant for the control room?

Yeah from a pilots point of view I heard a local controller who didn't know his mic was hot drop an F-bomb after repeatedly telling another pilot to get off the runway.

The frequency got verrrrrry quiet afterwards....

We recently had an A-Star helicopter at my field who was carrying equipment about 400 feet below him strung from a cable(something used to check density in mines and mountains). He came back to land one time with his equipment hanging and I had a few in the pattern... I issued this traffic call:

"Arrow123, traffic 4 miles South inbound for the helipad is an A-Star with a large hanging load"

The arrow pilot came back and said, "roger, we'll keep an eye out for his load".

We couldn't transmit for about 2 minutes we were all laughing so hard.

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~controller since 99'

I was working a PAR fiinal and someone told a joke and got to the punchline just as I got to the "I have you loud and clear" but because I was laughing it came out as a muffled "I luv you loud and clear" pilot came back "I love you too!"

not mine but another controller here used to work at ZAB. A military flight called TAC(had a 3 or 4 star onboard) came through the same time TACO1 a mexican flight(reason I don't know the name) came through. The controller switched TACO1 and kept calling TAC TACO.lol. Finally the TAC pilot yelled we are "TAC TACTICAL AIR COMMAND DO YOU UNDERSTAND", and the controller goes "TACO1 ROGER"

This happened in Iraq...you can get away with a little more over there... Working approach one night I had three aircraft holding to come inbound. I let all three know the sequence which was going to be C130, KC135, then C5. The KC135 pilot keyed up and said that I could let the C5 go in front of him since he (the 135) had plenty of gas. I immediately responded with "plus he's a little bigger too" in a joking manner. The C130 pilot says right away "but size doesn't matter" and little did we know that the co-pilot of the C5 was a female who without hesitation keys up and says "Ohhhh yes it doooes". I think I fell in love.

F16 on 2 1/2 mile final. NASA F18 (who were good at expediting their departure) calls ready for departure.

Me: NASA851, traffic F16, 2 1/2 mile final, can you beat him off
NASA: Tower, not from here we can't

everyone starts laughing except me. had to have it explained to me what was so stinkin funny. lol. what a ditz i am.

I was crawling around under the consoles in Puerto Rico looking for strip holders one morning. We had a CAG in town and ground had 10 or so fighters taxiing when I put my knee on her foot pedal. She said " Stop it, you're making me hot. Get off, I'm hot!" for about 5 seconds before I moved my knee. The freq was alive with questions like: What's your name? I'm hot too, are you busy this afternoon? for the next 10 minutes. It started all over again after the recovery. The F14 pilots were meowing and growling at her to boot.

Setup: ARTCC using old PVDs with broad-band backup. Narrow band failure requires simultaneous pushing a button with foot and pushing scope to horizontal.

Narrow-band fails.
Controller: UAL21, descend and maintain FL310
Another controller, seeing "Bill" strugle with PVD: Need some help Bill?
Controller (hot mic): I can't get this son-of-a-*@%! to go down!
UAL21: Center, we're descending as fast as we can...

I was working the d-side and I saw a pair that didn't look good. So being a good d-side I ask my R-side if I could play with his DIK (direct input keyboard). We call it the ####. So, little did I know that when I asked to play with the DIK, I was keyed up.

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RN

Not a slip up but when I was working Thule approach at Nellis I had a run in with a mouthy female canyon runner pilot. It went like this:

Vision 49: "Nellis approach Vision 49 with you at the mine with X-ray."
Me: "Vision 49 information Yankee now current at North Las Vegas, Altimeter 29.86"
Vision 49: (Sarcastic Voice) "Well I think X follows Y."
Me: (Without a moments hesitation and even more sarcastically) Oh really, well lets see, W, X, Y, Z...no I think Yankee is current.

The male copilot made all the radio calls after that and I could hear the chuckle in his voice. It was probably my most satisfying punking of a pilot in my 24 year ATC career.

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Maybe next year Tom. Can you say 18-1?