Controllers and marriages

ColtsATC

Trusted Contributor
Aug 27, 2008
590
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Hey current controllers, question for ya...

I was having a chat with some of the ZID guys one day and they were all talking about the divorce/cheating ratio at the center. One guy said the divorce rate at the center is around 75%. I was wondering if that is an across the country thing. Any insight?
 

blakeh

Trusted Member
Feb 8, 2009
406
2
18
SLN
Hey current controllers, question for ya...

I was having a chat with some of the ZID guys one day and they were all talking about the divorce/cheating ratio at the center. One guy said the divorce rate at the center is around 75%. I was wondering if that is an across the country thing. Any insight?
I dont know... My buddy who was in my CTI class was married to a controller at ZDV. Needless to say, they are getting a divorce so theres one for ZDV.

On a side note, a divorce and training has got to be insanely hard! Times like that would suck from not being able to get the other one off their mind while you need to study maps and such! Ouch!

Good luck to anyone in this situation!
 

Pants81

Trusted Member
Jun 16, 2008
428
1
18
Indiana
Maaaannn....I met my girlfriend in my CTI class and she wants to work at Indy Center too....I told her NO! You can work at Indy tracon! Now that I am thinking about it...Fuck it we are breaking up now because of this post....I dont want to deal with a divorce or a cheating slut during my training! hhahah jk...but seriously if something fishy starts brewing I am out!
 
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WickedPenguin

Junior Member
Jun 20, 2008
114
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Pensacola
pinguinomalo.blogspot.com
I'd say at least half of the controllers where I work have at least one ex-spouse.

Sometimes they'll sit back and compare war stories. It seems to be a common theme that the ex-wife gets a significant portion of their pension. That really pisses me off. It's ridiculous how much the legal system favors the wives. One guy's ex-wife makes more in alimony checks a month than I do with my salary... and she does NOTHING.

Another trainee here recently had a bad breakup with his fiance. My wife put it best: "Better an ex-girlfriend than an ex-wife." Had that happened a year from now, after they were married, she would have been entitled to a portion of his pension.
 

JosueZQ8

Senior Analyst
Feb 18, 2009
836
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Amherst, OH
I can deffinatly see myself falling victim to this stereotype. I can be a pretty angry, "just leave me alone", type person. Countless times I would come home from my body shop job in incredibly bad moods, and snap at my girlfriend for asking me a dumb question or for pestering me even after I said I was in a bad mood and didn't want to be bothered.

"Why are you in a bad mood? Why won't you talk to me about it?? Was it something I did???"

FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahaha

Granted, I was mostly sour because I HATED my job, so hopefully since I'm so excited to become ATC, I won't be in those type of moods or bring my stress home to unleash on her.
 

noid

Curtis E. Carr
Jun 24, 2008
2,024
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In a van down by the river.
There were quite a few divorced people at my last facility. What's even better, is when divorced controllers married other divorced controllers in the same facility. It happens more than you might think.
 

meatasaurusx

Trusted Member
Jun 19, 2008
370
2
18
Chi-town
My best piece of advice would be to have your significant read all of the blogs and articles out there that talk about how stressful the job can be, what kind of hours to expect, what to expect when it comes to getting leave, etc. I think it is only fair to them to be fully aware of what this job will entail in terms of a social and personal life. This can help a lot of potential problems from even starting. Just remember, the best thing you can do for a relationship is to stay honest with each other.
 

Stan Marsh

Senior Member
Jun 18, 2008
216
2
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The Desert
Get a prenuptial agreement and you won't have to worry about someone taking half your pension.

Maaaannn....I met my girlfriend in my CTI class and she wants to work at Indy Center too
STFU Pants you don't like women.
 

Raydon

Happy Camper
Aug 18, 2008
1,046
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OKC
Sometimes they'll sit back and compare war stories. It seems to be a common theme that the ex-wife gets a significant portion of their pension.
that's why I favor the equally beneficial "life partner" phraseology and the subsequent lack of legal responsibilities thereafter. If a girl really loves you that much (pssh) a ring and a piece of paper won't matter.

A lightly written/signed and well stipulated agreement to avoid any potential common-law issues that may arise after a few years and you'll never have to worry about a thing.

I'm not getting hitched until I'm 30+ anyway.
 

Radium

Epic Member
Jan 14, 2009
1,988
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yes pre-nup, cant stress it enough. I dont understand why, when divorce rate is 50%+ now, that people dont get these. You dont need to be rich to get a pre-nup.

Everyone at my last facility cheated on their wife or vice versa at least one. Not all of them found out, so some are still married... lol. Stress + Non stop working + odd hours when you DO get to be home... it does not lead to a happy home unless everyone is FULLY prepared for it.
 

WickedPenguin

Junior Member
Jun 20, 2008
114
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Pensacola
pinguinomalo.blogspot.com
Stress + Non stop working + odd hours when you DO get to be home... it does not lead to a happy home unless everyone is FULLY prepared for it.
I think it actually helps if both people work high stress jobs.

My wife works at a call center, doing tech support for cell phone customers. Like ATC, the work itself is highly technical, highly stressful problem solving, and she's dealing with an employer that treats their employees like expendable garbage. She also works bizarre hours, with strange days off. (However, no matter what, we always ensure we have one day off together.)

She and I vent on each other constantly about our respective workplaces. I may not "get" everything she does on a daily basis, and she may not "get" everything I do when I sit down at a radar scope, but by now we know enough about each other's jobs to understand what each is venting about.

Customers she's pissed at are "monkeys". Mine are "flying monkeys". :)
 
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Roddy_Piper

Resident Knucklehead
Jun 15, 2008
3,339
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Vegas baby
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just because i'm married and a controller doesn't mean i'm doomed to be divorced. it all depends on the person and the way people are. divorce in this culture is pretty prominent. it doesn't matter what job you have. society as a whole is going to sh!t.
 
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PorkBarrel

Rookie
Nov 21, 2008
35
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Haha, is it a good/bad thing when the person you're marrying is a lawyer and doesn't want a pre-nup? Texas is a community property state so whatever retirement she gets, I'd get half too if we divorced. Not to mention she'll probably make more money than me in the long run of our careers.

Just the other day I did have my first experience of taking my frustrations of training out on her. We both know the stress and pressures of the job, especially in training. I realized what I did and apologized. I'd like to think we can make a marriage last as long as we both communicate and be honest with each other, which we've always had a good history of.
 

Battani22

Trusted Contributor
Apr 6, 2009
613
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Minnesota
it all depends on the person and the way people are. divorce in this culture is pretty prominent. it doesn't matter what job you have. society as a whole is going to sh!t


Well put...I think I have heard that as a nation the divorce rate is like 50%+ I don't know how accurate that is. It's definitely a job that your significant other needs to have an understanding that they will need to be flexible and supportive of your schedule.
 

ineedatc

Trusted Contributor
Dec 14, 2008
508
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Chi-town
just because i'm married and a controller doesn't mean i'm doomed to be divorced. it all depends on the person and the way people are. divorce in this culture is pretty prominent. it doesn't matter what job you have. society as a whole is going to sh!t.
:agree: It's all about the person in the long run. If you have one of two or two of two morally bankrupt people together then it spells and smells of disaster. I laugh at people who call marriage a "peice of paper" if it is just a piece of paper then why do you all run from it? I am speaking as a person who has run from said peice of paper...lol.
 
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SnowAviation

Senior Member
Jan 29, 2009
292
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Southern California TRACON
Controllers marrying controllers = bad news.

I've only seen it work when both have been controllers for a few years and even then it's best when you don't work at the same or adjacent facilities.

Good luck to those who try it...
 

Rosstafari

Daaaang.
Aug 17, 2008
1,149
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I've only seen it work when both have been controllers for a few years and even then it's best when you don't work at the same or adjacent facilities.
Got a member here who's married to a guy at the facility she was selected for at the panels before last. It's a smaller tower, level 7 I think, so maybe the stress'll be a little less there. You'd have to ask her, though.
 
Oct 20, 2008
45
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Coral Springs, Florida
One of my instructors is married to another instructor here in OK City. They worked together for many years at the same tower and they made it!

My father was a controller for many years, but now a supervisor at ZID. He and my mother's marriage is rock solid and has always been, so statistics can say one thing, but it is up to the individuals.

In addition, I am married and am a Christian so I truly value my marriage. It all depends on the people...if they divorce as controllers, they would've divorced as non-controllers.